Detox Your Life, Stay Away from Negative People!
The author Michael Bassey Johnson has a great quote: “You don’t buy all the clothes in the market. You choose slowly and carefully, asking the prices for each before buying. The same way you choose your friends, by looking into their lives carefully, before taking any as a companion, then dropping those that are not relevant.”
I love this quote. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness, and all of us have a duty to stay away from people or things that drag us down in life. After all, great people don’t get to where they are by surrounding themselves with negativity or toxic personalities.
But how do we do it? Here are some tips that I think would help!
1.Stay away from people who whines and complains
Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good?
I’m not talking about constructive criticism or learning from our mistakes. I’m talking about the kind of whining and self-pity that does absolutely nothing except creating negativity.
When the air-conditioning is faulty in the office and you are waiting for the repairmen to come, will anything be gained by complaining about how warm it is? If your boss or employee is being unreasonable or make mistakes, would it help to whine about it all day every day?
I believe in this: if it is something that you can change, then you bear the duty to make things better, so don’t complain. If it is something that you can’t change, then whining only spreads negativity and make people around you feel even more horrible, so don’t complain.
2. Don’t feed the negativity of others
OK, but what if these people who whine or complain are people that are really close to us? What if they are our spouses, best friends or family members? Surely we should not just abandon them like that?
You’re right. Sometimes it is not practical to cut ties with everyone who are negative, especially if those people mean a lot to you. What should you do then?
What I have learned over time is that I should not feed their negativity. When friends and family come to us with their issues or problems, try not to affirm their “victim” identities or agree with how pathetic their lives are. Instead, try to be that calming, reassuring and encouraging presence. Show them what they can do. Tell them that they have the ability to make things better, and be there for them giving emotional support. That way, you become a real asset to everyone around you.
3. Be careful not to get arrogant
Once you have learned to shut out or negate negativity, it becomes easy for us to think that we are “better” than others. Sometimes by choosing to be cold to people who are sad, we become distant and unkind. We even risk feeling “enlightened”, as if you are so above everyone else in your workplace, your family or your society.
Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.
The only difference between the “positive” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. Realise that you are just lucky enough to be living in an environment that encourages positivity, or maybe your life just makes it easier for you to stay positive. Realise that not everyone have that privilege.
By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you.
In summary, maintaining a positive attitude is a fine art that requires discipline and a lot of care. It might not be easy, especially if your life is tough. But once you have mastered it, you will realise the power of the mind. Nothing might change in your life, but you start feeling happier and more at peace.
作家Micheal Bassey Johnson有一句非常有名的名言：”在逛市场时,千万不要第一时间就买完市场上所有的衣服，而是必须慢慢以及小心的选择.在还未决定要买哪一件衣服前，你必须比较每一件衣服的价钱。同样的，你必须选择捏朋友必须先审核他们的性格,将正能量的人视为良伴,那些负能量的人就算了吧!”