How to Look Confident, Even When You are Not提升自信迈向成功

赖彩云 Jessy Lai Chai Yun-Confident-Mindset
[vc_row type=”in_container” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]How to Look Confident, Even When You are Not

We all know that confidence gets us ahead in life—you do not need to read my blog to know that. But as much as we know the value of confidence, sometimes it is really hard to feel good about ourselves when we are overwhelmed by challenges at work. Maybe you have an important presentation, or maybe you are made leader of a new project and you are not sure if you are good enough. What do we do in these situations?

Here’s a tip I can offer: fake it till you make it.

Feeling anxious and stressed out about a new challenge is natural. In fact, it is more common than you think it is. Amy J.C. Cuddy, professor at Harvard Business School and the author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges says: “many of us never completely shed those fears — we work them out as they come.” She has some valuable lessons to offer: “faking” confidence is not about pretending to have skills or capabilities that you do not have. It is “about pretending to yourself that you’re confident” so you feel motivated and less fearful.

Here are some suggestions that might help:

1. See the challenge as an opportunity

The more you choose to think about how scary and difficult the task is, the more you are going to feel powerless and afraid. Instead, Cuddy suggests that we look at challenges and see them as opportunities to learn something new. Instead of saying to yourself: “this is so difficult,” say: “this is exciting!” Keep telling yourself that, and when doubts arise in your mind, silence it with positivity. Remind yourself that you must be good enough to be entrusted with this mission, and the task cannot be something so drastically different that you can’t accomplish it.

2. Make baby steps

While it is important to stay positive, you goals must remain realistic and achievable, otherwise you risk demotivating yourself when things do not work out. In Cuddy’s book, she suggested making “small, incremental improvements” in your task. For example, you can tell yourself, “Today I want to help my team bond so that they feel comfortable with each other.” Or, “At this conference, I am going to pitch my idea to at least 5 people.” This way, you do not overwhelm yourself with a seemingly impossible goal, and you can keep yourself motivated every time you achieve one baby step.

3. Be bold in your body language

One great way to come across as confident and bold is to use “body language that makes you feel bold and victorious,” says Cuddy. This might be a surprise to many, but your body image not only affects how others see you, it affects how you feel about yourself too! Cuddy suggests movements that are more open, spread out, and take up a bit more space, as these actions help exude power. Consider the “Wonder Woman” pose, for example: the elbows are jutting out, taking up more space, and the feet are spread out. Practicing these “high power poses” can eventually help you feel more confident. Other tips include standing up straight, don’t slouch, take long strides and walk with your head held high.

4. Make Eye Contact

Not enough eye contact strongly indicates a lack of confidence, but too much eye contact can make you look like you’re trying too hard (or come across as weird). You want to maintain just the right amount. You can try asking close friends and family how they feel about your eye contact. That’s an easy way to find out if you make too much or too little. In most situations, we tend to make less eye contact when we lack confidence. Here’s a trick to help you remember: make a habit of noticing their eye colour. In doing so, you’ll give them more eye contact.

Confidence isn’t about being better than everyone else, it’s just about being comfortable in your own skin. It might seem weird to “fake” confidence, but remember: sometimes pretending to be confident and telling yourself that you are confident actually makes you feel that way.

Ideally, we all want to develop real confidence in the long-term. But that is a long and difficult process. Before we get there, I hope you find these tips useful! If you have any feedback or ideas on how to be more confident, do share it with me on this blog or on my Facebook page. I would love to hear from my readers.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]4步自我改造 提升自信迈向成功




美资深心理治疗师巴登 葛史密斯(Barton Godsmith)在他的研究中透露,经常生活在疑虑、不安或是相互比较的环境下,会严重打击一个人的自信心。而长期缺乏自信心,会让一个人丧失挑战的勇气、剥夺自己寻求突破的力量。而低落的情绪会更会影响生活与工作,贬低个人价值观,严重的话,甚至有寻死的迹象。

其实,人在面对新事物时,会感到紧张与压力是很正常的,哈佛大学商学系教授艾米 卡蒂(Amy J.C. Cuddy),同时也是著书《Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges》的作者,卡蒂在该书中提及:“许多人都不愿意正面面对内心的恐惧,实际上你应该尝试与这些恐惧共处,而建立自信最简单的方式就是‘假装’自信”










“其中一个让你产生自信的方式就是利用肢体语言”,卡蒂说道。 其实,你的肢体语言的表现方式不仅影响他人对你的观感,也影响着你看待自己的想法。









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